Ephesians 5:25-30

New American Standard Version

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body.

Pastor’s Paraphrase

          Husbands, in order for the family to function as God intended, you must have a love for your wife that is so deep, pure, and sacrificial that we can only understand it when we compare it to the love that Christ has for His Bride, the church. He gave Himself up completely in His sacrificial death so that His Bride could be cleansed of all sin, baptizing her in the   truth of His own word. Through this act of loving sacrifice, the church becomes radiant, unstained, unwrinkled, and unblemished – completely free from all guilt and holy before the Father.

           In this same sacrificial way, husbands must love and care for their wives in a manner that is just as natural and instinctive as caring for their own bodies. You see, because you and your wife have become one, you are really loving and caring for yourself when you love your wife in this unselfish and sacrificial way.

           It is completely natural to do all of the things that we do to care for our own physical well being. We make sure that we eat regularly and we attend to our personal care needs without even having to think about it. Our love and care for our wives must be just that natural to us. We shouldn’t even think of doing anything else. That is the way Christ cares for us –for we are His Bride and His Body.

 “How does this help me become more like Him?”

          We are most unlike Christ when we are selfish, prideful, and concerned only with what we think or want or feel.  We are most like the Lord when we are unselfish and focused on the needs and concerns of others.  This has to begin with those that God has placed closest in our lives to us – our family.

          With total disregard for His own pain, suffering, and sacrifice, Jesus gave Himself that our greatest need might be met – that we could be forgiven of sin and made right with the Father.  He was totally focused on what we needed and He gave everything to meet that need.

          If we want to be like Christ, we must be unselfish and caring.  We must be more concerned about the needs and feelings of our family than we are about ourselves. I believe thousands of struggling Christian marriages would be healed if married believers would determine to love each other with Christlike, sacrificial love and give greater attention to caring for each other than getting their own way. 

          A healthy Christian marriage is one where the husband and wife almost try to “outserve” each other.  They find great delight in caring for one another and selfishness is continually discarded in favor of serving.  Just as Jesus took the role of the servant and washed the feet of the disciples, so we are to serve others – especially our mates.

“How should I pray for Him to change my life?”

Ask the Lord to forgive you of those times you have been selfish and wanted to be served rather than serving your mate.  Pray that He would help you find delight in caring for and serving your spouse.  Pray that He would build into your marriage the beautiful dynamic of mutual servanthood.

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